From the unbelievably beautiful symmetry of snowflakes to the elegant spirals of galaxies, patterns adorn and influence our everyday reality. If we pay close attention we will find that we too are governed by underlying patterns that show up in our thoughts and actions therefore contributing to the quality of the life we live. If life does not feel like it is all that it can be, it may be in your best interest to become aware of the patterns that keep showing up in your life. These hold the key to your healing and fulfillment.
Often times coaching clients will see me because they feel stuck in a pattern that they can’t seem to undo. It may be procrastination, turning away from the nice guy, or not pursuing something they want. Patterns come in many forms, but the common thread is that they interfere or prevent the person from living a happier, more fulfilling life.
The pattern is not the problem per se. It is a symptom of a deeper dynamic that comes to the surface in the form of the pattern. This relates to a central theme that is of utmost importance and value to the individual and around which there are opportunities for deep healing and service to others.
For instance, a person may highly value the idea of connection. There may be a strong desire to connect meaningfully with others, to connect with many people or feel a heartfelt connection to life. This is the person’s theme. Contradictorily, this same individual may find him or herself disconnecting from others when feeling hurt or hiding in the corner of a party instead of mingling or connecting with others. The pattern is how the fear relating to the theme shows up. For instance:
Fear: I really want to connect deeply with others, but I am afraid that I will be rejected.
Pattern: I disconnect from others before they hurt me.
In essence, the pattern prevents the person from experiencing and sharing that which he or she most desires.
Ugh. I know, but don’t give up just yet. The good news is that everything changes when you become aware of how patterns influence you. You will no longer go into relationships and situations with blinders on. You will have the information to consciously decide how you will choose to act. Will you choose (your theme here) or fear? When you consistently act in alignment with what you long for healing takes place, and oftentimes the places that need healing in you are the doorway to how you help others too.
To start changing a pattern, ask yourself:
What is the pattern that keeps repeating in my life across relationships or situations?
What fear might I have that I would not have to face by behaving this way?
How will I choose to act next time I catch myself about to repeat this pattern?
Need some backup in figuring out how to change a pattern? Contact me below or call 917.747.8624 for a complimentary coaching call.